


harry potter is blaise zabini

by reylofics



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 00:59:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16734009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reylofics/pseuds/reylofics
Summary: in which all hogwarts students in year eight are required to have phones and harry accidentally finds blaise’s.





	1. Chapter 1

_blaise & hermione_

_4:37pm_

**blaise:** um this is harry n this is the only # i recognize 

**blaise:** but why does blaise have ur #

**hermione:** funny joke! i know it’s you, blaise.

**blaise:** it’s deadass harry potter 

**hermione:** why do you have blaise’s phone, “harry”?

**blaise:** accidentally found it on the ground 

**blaise:** (selfie attached)

**hermione:** oh...well. he only has my number because he’s been asking me NON-STOP for gift ideas for pansy’s birthday.

**blaise:** oh rite cuz u guys r friends now

_\+ hermione has added unknown number to the chat._

**blaise:** who dat

**hermione:** harry, meet ron. ron, meet the guy who stole blaise’s phone.

**ron:** u did wat now m8

**blaise:** i did not STEAL his phone i found it on accident

**ron:** omg dood u totally hav to txt malfoy lol

**blaise:** what why

**ron:** bc it’s funny 

**hermione:** ~~~~harry, how did you even know blaise’s password?

**blaise:** idk i jus kinda guessed that it was his gf’s name so i typed that in

**hermione:** you really should turn in his phone to one of the professors...

**ron:** my idea is better

**hermione:** ronald, your idea is inappr 

**blaise:** what just happened

**ron:** i interrupted her with a kiss

_\+ hermione has left the chat._

**blaise:** LOL 

**ron:** so r u texting the ferret or wha

**blaise:** sure

**ron:** SEND SCREENSHOTS

_read at 5:12pm._

 

* * *

 

_blaise & draco _

_5:14pm_

**blaise:** hey 

**draco:** hello, sexy!

 


	2. Chapter 2

_blaise & draco _

_5:14pm_

**blaise:** hey 

**draco:** hello, sexy!

**blaise:** uhhhh

**blaise:** i have a gf bc i am blaise zucchini

**blaise:** *zabini

**draco:** i was kidding, mr. zucchini...

**blaise:** oh 

**blaise:** lol

**draco:** did you not get a good score on the divination exam today or something? you’re being weird...

**blaise:** when do i ever get good scores

**draco:** pretty much all the time?

**blaise:** oh right yah

**blaise:** so how bout that weather 

* * *

 

_blaise & ron _

_5:23pm_

**blaise:** (screenshot attached)

**ron:** ur so akward wtf

**ron:** ’mione just said it’s awkward not akward n then she gave me a kiss n left

**blaise:** malfoy is freaking me out

**ron:** i’d be freaking out if i was malfoy tbh

**ron:** remember ur blaise not harry potter 

**ron:** go get em tiger rawr

**blaise:** i...okay

_read at 5:34pm._

* * *

_blaise & draco_

_5:22pm_

**draco:** i would say the weather is less than ideal right now.

 

_5:29pm_

**draco:** geez blaise, if you’re going to suddenly stop texting me to go hang out with pansy or someone else, at least have the decent courtesy to tell me!

 

_5:34pm_

**blaise:** sorry i was texting a friend 

**draco:** it’s okay.

**blaise:** you sound like my friend when she’s mad lol

**draco:** does pansy know about this friend? i’ve never heard you mention having any other girl friends?

**blaise:** oh.... i was talking abt pansy

**draco:** why didn’t you just say her name..

**blaise:** i don’t like the person i’m rooming with

**draco:** oh?

**blaise:** sorry just tryna change the subject

**blaise:** i mean i like that all eighth years have their own dormitory that’s not with the other houses but i’m with a hufflepuff that snores really loudly 

**draco:** i thought you were with a ravenclaw?

**blaise:** oh right that’s what i meant

**draco:** you seem to have a screw loose up in your head today...

**blaise:** no u

**draco:** HA!

**blaise:** lol i’m gonna go change my roommate 

**draco:** what are the odds of us becoming new roomies?

 

_6:04pm_

**draco:** zabini, what the fuck did you do.

**blaise:**  so harry potter might accidentally be rooming with u now uh

**blaise:**  trust me, i don’t want this any more than u do

**draco:**  you just made my life a lot harder.

_read at 6:10pm._

 


	3. Chapter 3

_blaise & ron _

_5:49am_

**blaise:** helpppp

**ron:** wut

_\+ blaise has added hermione to the chat._

**hermione:** hello? 

**blaise:** I AM ROOMING WITH MALFOY THSI IS BLLSHIT

**hermione:** harry, calm down, it’s just malfoy.

**ron:** bloody hell ‘mione he’s harrys worst nemesis

**blaise:** exactly ugh

**hermione:** well he doesn’t feel that way about you, harry.

**blaise:** tf is that supposed to mean

**hermione:** uh...that’s for you to figure out.

**blaise:** THNAKS FOR BEING CRYTOPICT

**ron:** did u mean cryptic

**blaise:** duh

_read at 5:58am._

* * *

_blaise & draco _

_11:37am_

**draco:** harry potter is so

**blaise:** ~~~~ugly

**draco:** no...hot. where you have been for the past eight years, living under a rock?

**blaise:** gotta blast

 


	4. Chapter 4

_blaise & draco _

_11:37am_

**draco:** harry potter is so

**blaise:** ~~~~ugly

**draco:** no...hot. where you have been for the past eight years, living under a rock?

**blaise:** gotta blast

**draco:**???

**blaise:** lol u were joking rite

**draco:** why would i be joking? 

**draco:** remember when we found out that my patronus is a bloody stag?

**blaise:** we WHAT NOW

**draco:** honestly, blaise, were you obliviated or something?

_read at 11:50am._

* * *

_blaise & hermione_

_11:51am_

**blaise:** (insert screenshot)

**hermione:** geez...that’s one way to admit that he’s been madly in love with you for the past eight years.

**blaise:** WHAT

**hermione:** harry, you are QUITE dim sometimes...having the same patronus obviously means that he loves you.

_read at 11:56am._

* * *

 

_blaise & draco_

_11:52am_

**draco:** did i do something wrong?

 

_11:56am_

**blaise:** no i’m just an idiot

**draco:** oh?

**blaise:** an idiot who’s madly IN LOVE WITH YOU

 


	5. Chapter 5

_blaise & draco_

_11:52am_

**draco:** did i do something wrong?

 

_11:56am_

**blaise:** no i’m just an idiot

 **draco:** oh?

 **blaise:** an idiot who’s madly IN LOVE WITH YOU

 **draco:** blaise i’m not into you like that...

 **blaise:** get prankd it’s harry potter 

 **blaise:** (selfie attached)

 **draco:** oh shit lol marry me?

 **blaise:** yes mwah

* * *

 

lol u really thot this was gonna be a serious story? rofl rawr xd it turned out to be totally the opposite! harry n draco got married at hogwarts and had millions of pureblood wizard babies bc i’m too lazy to write a plot and go thru with it for more than five chapters x

 

peace out muggles

 

 


End file.
